Grounded: Apparently, I Had to Drive to Florida to Sit Down Somewhere
My therapist basically put her foot down.
“You need a break. You need to do something for yourself. Your family is fine. Everything is fine. Why aren’t you taking care of yourself?”
Now, this was not exactly new information. I have been hearing some version of this for a while. But apparently, this time it finally clicked. I thought, okay, ShaElla. Just do something.
So, I talked to my husband, packed up myself and Dexter, threw Kangaroo Willie in the back seat, and headed to Florida.
Before anybody gets concerned about me traveling alone with a baby, relax. My husband was fine with it. I have made this drive plenty of times, I stay prepared, and Florida, especially the beach, has always felt like a second home to me. There is just something about the water that calls me back when my brain has had enough.
I found an Airbnb right on the beach that was private, secure, affordable, and exactly what I needed. Once we settled in, Dexter fell asleep, and for once I had to ask myself a question that had absolutely nothing to do with a client, strategy, deadline, application, or deliverable.
What do I want to do?
I realized I had not read a book simply because I wanted to read in a long time.
There were several books in the Airbnb, including one about how trauma can live in the body. I started flipping through that one and immediately thought, yeah…that tracks. Then I noticed some books written by the Airbnb owner, Benton Savage. One caught my attention, but since checkout was coming, obviously I could not just pack the man’s books in my suitcase. 😂
As it turns out, he lived about a mile away and stopped by before we left. He brought me copies of two of his books, including Wrong Side Out: Madness Misdiagnosed, the one pictured here.
I read the synopsis and was immediately intrigued.
The book shares his experience of being diagnosed with bipolar disorder in his twenties, the denial that followed, the decisions he made while trying to understand what was happening in his own mind, and the impact those experiences had on his life.
And I just sat there thinking about the timing of it all.
I had come to Florida because I was being told, repeatedly, that I needed to take better care of myself. Then, while trying to figure out how to actually relax, I stumbled across someone's very personal story about understanding his own mental health.
Kismet.
Mental health has been part of my own journey in different ways, and one thing I am continuing to learn is how important it is to understand yourself. Your mind affects how you react, how you communicate, how you make decisions, how you show up for people, and even how your body responds to the world around you. Sometimes being “strong” is not pushing through another day. Sometimes it is recognizing that your mind and body have been asking you to sit down somewhere.
And finally, I did.
I sat on the beach.
I watched the sunrise.
I watched the sunset.
Dexter put his little feet in the sand for the first time and seemed completely content with this whole vacation thing. For once, he was not looking at me like, “Ma’am, where are you taking me now?”
Kangaroo Willie was technically supposed to be working, but judging by the pictures, he apparently submitted his PTO request without telling me.
Eventually, my husband decided he needed a break too and came down to join us. I am glad he did. We got to slow down, laugh, sit by the water, and simply spend time together with our happy little six-month-old without feeling like we needed to be doing something every five minutes.
Nothing spectacular happened.
And maybe that was the point.
I did not go to Florida and suddenly figure out life. I still have work waiting for me. I still have responsibilities. I still have things I am working through.
But I came home reminded that taking care of myself cannot always be the thing I promise I will get around to after everything else is finished.
Because everything else is never finished.
Sometimes grounding yourself looks like therapy.
Sometimes it looks like a book that finds you at exactly the right time.
Sometimes it looks like watching your baby discover sand while your husband sits beside you and a stuffed kangaroo is apparently also on vacation.
Whatever it looks like for you, take the break.
You might need it more than you realize.
And if you are looking for a new read, check out Benton Savage's Wrong Side Out: Madness Misdiagnosed. Keep an open mind. Stories about mental health matter because understanding someone else's experience may help us extend a little more patience, compassion, and understanding to them, and maybe even to ourselves.
You can also watch our Florida vacation recap on TikTok here: https://www.tiktok.com/@moparbaddie
Check out the book here: https://www.amazon.ca/stores/Benton-Savage/author/B0GBZV1DXN?ref=ap_rdr&shoppingPortalEnabled=true
And as always, I would love to hear from you. What keeps you grounded when life gets loud?
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